Blossoming

mmmmm i was live on the air last night as DJ Angel ... oh what fun. Still learning, so that i can grow into a awesome DJ. It was not until around a few years ago that i realized just how music can influence my sexual excitement or helpt to refocus my attention when it has wondered off into the land of overthinking everything. Such a powerful thing, the words, rhythms, and beats. i can say that i have found a whole new passion for song that i have not had in the past, and i hope that i can find a way to convey that to E/everyone who is out there listening.

Yes, i am the heavy metal nut, but there are some song that are much different who deserve equal time. Perhaps get a few of the L/listeners as excited as they can get me. *winks*

That is what life is about right - learning, growing, challenging oneself to do more. Another part of my adventure, and i love it.

Focus

It is amazing, yesterday while starting my new job - the one thing that helped me out the most when i felt overwhelmed - was hearing Their words in my mind. Calm down, step 1, focus, deep breath. i made it through the day, and even managed to put it out of my head for the night. Of course morning is here and i have work in 2 hours, so it is back and fresh. So is my perspective, hoping i have more of it down today and come through stronger than yesterday.

That is all O/one can do, learn, grow, and let go of the past. Embrace the future, and move forward. Like a rose blossoming outward.

i am the luckiest girl in the world to have Them.

Inner discipline

i know i am stuck here - but it is so crucially important. This morning i am going in to a new job in real life - and the one weakness i know i have is slowing down. i get rushed and then i make stupid mistakes.

Calm, focus, one step at a time, starting on step 1 not 100. Put to use all of the work W/we have been doing at home, because this work is needed in all areas of life, not just certain aspects. While it helps to grow as a person, it helps me to fully blossom as a submissive. That is truly wonderful.

Go ahead, say it again

For T/those that know me, i am famous for stumbling right into trouble. i do not need to try, or to purposely aim for it - give me time and i am right there. What is crucial for me to learn is focus, discipline, to slow down and stop trying to jump all the steps in the middle.

Focus - paying attention, concentrating on what Their words are, what the task is at hand. Not 5 different tasks at once, or on five different conversations at once. you belong to Them - your Dominate is the voice you should always be seeking, the One that you stop and listen to above everything around you. If They are not in that place, then you may want to stop and look at yourself. Believe me  this is not always easy, i hit points where i am trying to do 500 things at once, and Their voice becomes lost in the mind clutter in my head. Even when i think i am focused on Their exact words that moment, if i am doing another task, there is a chance i failed to pay attention to the instructions given. One way for me to over come this is to start making a list of what i am told, so that i do not feel more overwhelmed and try to rush and do everything at one time. .... i still need to find a notepad to do this. Learning!

Discipline - is the control, the focus set forth to do what is needed, required, or at times not even asked of oneself. Self-discipline is crucial in all areas of life, whether one is vanilla, submissive, and especially if one is slave. Without that control and awareness of what you are doing, and what is going on around you, you are a ship tossed about by waves in a calm sea.

Those two areas are important, because face it W/we all love attention - however there is one form of attention i am not a fan of:

Correction - i.e. punishment is when we fail to exercise discipline, or at times even make a mistake. That is when our Dominates stop, take the time to correct what we are doing wrong so that we can grow stronger. If They did not love us, They would not bother with us. Yes it can be harsh, it can hurt our feelers, but once we allow ourselves to move past that point and actually learn what is needed - the growth can be amazing.

Today, tomorrow, and far into the future - focus and self-discipline are two huge areas that i am working with daily, minute to minute at times. Finding that calm space in my head, where i am not overwhelmed and rushing. Learning to stay there with a list of what needs to happen, not what has to happen that second. Learning to find this point within a second of being reminded, so that i can stop, take that deep breath, and then move forward correctly.

If W/we are not growing and learning T/together - then W/we are stagnant -and that is not healthy for any of U/us.

Welcome to my world and my thoughts. While i bring Y/you into my life, know that Y/you will not fully know me. Several things i keep private for my own sanity and that of Those around me. First me - i am a owned submissive in real life. i love Them with all my heart and soul, They are my everything. Do not get any ideas there. Yes They are Both very aware of my online activities. 

In Second Life - my persona is the Angel of Sin - at my home, Bliss Temple of Sin, i am one of the beautiful dancers that graces the poles. i also escort/text with option for voice only. i do not do cam. This Angel is always up to mischief, but keep in mind that the gorgeous Sin - owner of Bliss Temple of Sin, always has a final say when it comes to my antics. She is the one i answer to, and She knows of all my activities. Y/you can find me on Utherverse, but i rarely show up online there.

What is unique to my persona and me, is there is no difference in who Y/you get. i am the Angel of Sin, i am me when i am logged in and working or having fun, and i am me when i get offline from there. It is a true work that i enjoy doing, but this is to bring me to life. To show the more serious side of the Lifestyle that most do not get a true feel for while W/we are busy with our DJ's in a gig on SL.

Just a side note... this Angel is working on becoming one of the newest DJ Personalities to BToS Radio!