Be Yourself

For those who know me on sl, i am always up to something with how i look. Usually it is my hair, i also have a few fursona's. The best advice i can give especially for rl - be Y/yourself! The right people will find Y/you and Y/you will find T/them!!!

Lessons

Lesson come in the oddest times, from the weirdest places sometimes. Recently a ball of hyper intense energy came walking right on into my world and brought home several lessons at once.

First... submission is a gift. One can not submit if one has no control, or desire to find self-control. It takes a truly strong individual to give that control over to another. Without self-control one has nothing to give, because one has not even started to learn who they are and what they are capable of.

i feel something deep in me, that i know without a question is there. However, i failed in actions and words to ever fully give myself. Now i need to learn to be me. To be that strong woman that i also know is there, and to find the self-control and discipline to embrace who i am. Then one day, i will have something to give to Another. Something beautiful and precious, just as i am becoming.

Life is a journey - it is when Y/you fail to learn and grow - that Y/you truly fail. Even the snail eventually reaches the end of its journey.

Change - Adventure

i had to calm down - big changes are terrifying - especially when they affect ones own environment in huge ways. While my head still struggles, and i still land in my ill fated pity parties, i am doing much better.

i am still me, just even more me then i started this journey as. No matter where i go, i still have Those i love - no matter what capacity They will fill. So this little submissive brat is going to take Y/you on her journey with her.

Who know where it will end up .. giggles. It is a new ADVENTURE!

i do have something

No wait .. i do have something. It is incredibly hard to flip a 180, and harder still when there are issues that need to be dealt with that only the person doing it can .. well, deal with.

That is where i am - dealing with me. Am i happy, i have to find that inside of me for myself. Do i like this mess - i hate it. Will i fix me, yes. Will i find something great after - not at the point that i am thinking that far ahead.

So have patiences with E/eachother.

Nothing

i have nothing... just nothing

Learning a lesson

So i did something to my sciatic never and caused my entire lower back to go into a massive spasm. The last two days - then to the ER i go - to get muscle relaxers - that make me want to sleep.

What lesson did i learn ... ask for help. It is okay to ask for help, it is okay to have a day or two were one is a lazy twat, and it is okay to if your bark a little when in pain and struggling. Dominates have those days and submissives have the same.

It is okay.

woot

So the other day - i slipped up and almost started to go toward meltdown - but  i caught it - and practiced everything i have been working on. Communication, focus, how i feel - and while i did get disciplined - it was nothing like what it could have been. A complete 180 degree turn is hard to do - but i am doing it - for me.

i am starting to actually who i am when i am not being a jack arse.