Be Yourself

For those who know me on sl, i am always up to something with how i look. Usually it is my hair, i also have a few fursona's. The best advice i can give especially for rl - be Y/yourself! The right people will find Y/you and Y/you will find T/them!!!

Lessons

Lesson come in the oddest times, from the weirdest places sometimes. Recently a ball of hyper intense energy came walking right on into my world and brought home several lessons at once.

First... submission is a gift. One can not submit if one has no control, or desire to find self-control. It takes a truly strong individual to give that control over to another. Without self-control one has nothing to give, because one has not even started to learn who they are and what they are capable of.

i feel something deep in me, that i know without a question is there. However, i failed in actions and words to ever fully give myself. Now i need to learn to be me. To be that strong woman that i also know is there, and to find the self-control and discipline to embrace who i am. Then one day, i will have something to give to Another. Something beautiful and precious, just as i am becoming.

Life is a journey - it is when Y/you fail to learn and grow - that Y/you truly fail. Even the snail eventually reaches the end of its journey.

Change - Adventure

i had to calm down - big changes are terrifying - especially when they affect ones own environment in huge ways. While my head still struggles, and i still land in my ill fated pity parties, i am doing much better.

i am still me, just even more me then i started this journey as. No matter where i go, i still have Those i love - no matter what capacity They will fill. So this little submissive brat is going to take Y/you on her journey with her.

Who know where it will end up .. giggles. It is a new ADVENTURE!

i do have something

No wait .. i do have something. It is incredibly hard to flip a 180, and harder still when there are issues that need to be dealt with that only the person doing it can .. well, deal with.

That is where i am - dealing with me. Am i happy, i have to find that inside of me for myself. Do i like this mess - i hate it. Will i fix me, yes. Will i find something great after - not at the point that i am thinking that far ahead.

So have patiences with E/eachother.

Nothing

i have nothing... just nothing

Learning a lesson

So i did something to my sciatic never and caused my entire lower back to go into a massive spasm. The last two days - then to the ER i go - to get muscle relaxers - that make me want to sleep.

What lesson did i learn ... ask for help. It is okay to ask for help, it is okay to have a day or two were one is a lazy twat, and it is okay to if your bark a little when in pain and struggling. Dominates have those days and submissives have the same.

It is okay.

woot

So the other day - i slipped up and almost started to go toward meltdown - but  i caught it - and practiced everything i have been working on. Communication, focus, how i feel - and while i did get disciplined - it was nothing like what it could have been. A complete 180 degree turn is hard to do - but i am doing it - for me.

i am starting to actually who i am when i am not being a jack arse.

O.o

Do Y/you know what happens when Y/you cut out all the extra crap from the thoughts and actually focus and look with love? Oh life is so much easier.

Soooo sooo much easier, and happier. Still working on hard on me, but not so out of control and lost on it.

S. E. X.

Giggles - today's post is just randomness... my bro got a song stuck in my head:

"S is for the simple need, E is for ecstasy, X is just to mark the spot, cause that's the one you really want! Yes sex is always the answer, its never a question, cause the answers yes, not just a suggestion, if you ask the question, the is always yes, yeah!!!!!"

Now to get it stuck in Y/yours ... nods i am playful.

Deep Breath - and Relaxes

Okay - so had a 'Gibbs Smack' from the Universe, God, whatever Y/you want to call it - and it hurt. But truth hurts - and i needed it. i have been a brat, a total jerk - a lot - and i am so sorry. i hate drama and yet i was the one causing it, and that stinks.

So to a 180 turn, to a huge smile, and to learning how to do these things correctly and not begrudgingly or half arsed. my mind is focused on my Dominates, my heart is focused - and i am straightening up before i loose the most wonderful Individuals in my world.

Sometimes that final smack - that hitting bottom and dragging through the mud - is the thing that is needed to wake one up. i love Them and thank Them Both for caring so much to let me land on my face. It is what i needed.

okay okay okayyyyy

i fight it and i get in more trouble - because all the negative comes out. i have little tendencies ... maybe a little in me - either way ... i am going to embrace it and see if i can actually find balance and peace in me.

i am exhausted fighting E/everyone and myself to be what i need to be and ... that causes me to mirror - and then i fail at being myself.

Looks at self

i have nothing against little - i love those who are. my family has many littles - the little in me needs to go down.

That is literally all i have to say on the topic.

Excited

i have some new projects in the works, and that has absolutely made my night. So excited. i know ... aren't i busy enough? Nope, i love to stay busy - i find my calm in knowing there is something to do - accomplishing it - and moving on to a new task. Okay so housework, i can mumble and grumble about - but even that is rare.

WOOTS!!! Okay that was my scream of excitement.

Plus focusing on work helps me to get a grip on what is going on in my brain - it goes so fast and from topic to topic - that taking it and zooming in on one or two tasks, helps immensely. Helps me to learn how to focus, and to concentrate.

When the world stops

The world does not stop turning, it keeps going - but when something happens that makes Y/your own personal world stop. That is when Y/you need each other the most.

i may have a few habits that do not want to break, but i know where my heart is - and i know what my intentions are. Sometimes that can mean more than anything, because i may crash and burn but i try. i try my heart out, i perhaps over try and cause myself to crash.

Falls over sideways

Do Y/you know what happens when the holiday's hit, i start a new job, and we are still unpacking from a move. Tired and busy - me. Things have calmed down and i am now finally getting into a routine that i can adapt to without over extending myself.

Which means - i get to bug Y/you more often. (Evil laugh)

TONIGHT SINFUL SECRETS RELEASE

★*♪ ┊　☆ ┊ ★ Woooooot *♪ ┊　☆ ┊ ★*♪ ┊　☆ ┊

⊱❥⋰ ⋮ ⋱ ⊱❥ SINFUL SECRETS - DECEMBER RELEASE PARTY ❥JAN 7TH AT 6PM ❥BLISS TEMPLE OF SIN W/ DJ SERA LIVE ❥ MMMMMM ⊱❥⋰ ⋮ ⋱ ⊱❥

✭⌒♡http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Bliss%20Island/62/62/2460

❤❤❤❤❤ kiss me ❤❤❤❤❤